5 Steps to Finding HOME After Divorce

Step 1 Noticing

Two years ago I lived in White Rock, British Columbia, a community on the ocean.  I loved living there.

I would get up in morning and write for a couple of hours on my book, Divine Divorce, then put my running gear on and run down the hill to the ocean.  I ran along the two kilometer boardwalk listening to the seagulls cry and watching the mists lift off the mountains on Vancouver Island.

The boardwalk was filled with elderly and young people alike enjoying the morning sunshine on their face while getting their morning exercise.  My heart was filled with joy on these days and my body was full of energy.

Step 2 Set Intentions

I loved living there. It was an intention that had been fulfilled.  Two years prior to living in White Rock I remember walking along the boardwalk looking up the hill and thinking I would love to live here.

However, being newly divorced I didn’t have enough money to even consider being able to buy a house in White Rock.  Living in my friend’s apartment while she was away helped bring my intention to reality.

Step 3 Take Action

For several years my dream book has contained pictures of blue ocean, palm trees and beaches.  I have dreamed of living in a house on the beach and I have.  In fact I have lived in several, but they were never the kind of house that I really dreamed of.  There were aspects of all of them that I loved, but nothing felt like the whole package.

Today I am in Progreso, Yucatan.  I have been up early in the morning and run on the malecon which is also filled with early morning exercisers, just like in White Rock.  Today I did something new when I got up in the morning, I went swimming.  It felt like I was in the biggest swimming pool ever with the sun shining down on me as I swam.  I didn’t have to count my lengths or make a whole bunch of turns, I just decided to turn when I reached the yellow building on shore. When I felt like I had enough, I swam to shore and walked down the beach to pick up my towel.

How did I know I was home? I could feel the joy in my heart.  I felt just like I did in White Rock.

Plus I live in a beautiful home with all the luxuries (ok ordinary conveniences) that I have come to expect growing up in Canada at a price that is less than I would have paid for a small condo when I got divorced.

Getting divorced is an awful traumatic event, or at least it was for me, and it felt like everything I knew was lost.  And it was, but new opportunities were created.

Step 4 Take Some Risks

Long before getting divorced I had started to envision what my dream life would look like.  It included a house on the ocean.  Getting divorced set up the circumstances for me to go out on my own and take some risks that I would not have undertaken with my husband, Milo.  He wouldn’t have wanted to move and I would have been too afraid.

Step 5 Let Go of Fear

By letting go of my emotional baggage during the divorce, I also let go of my fears.  Letting go of my fear allowed me to go on an adventure to Belize and now I am starting a new adventure in Mexico.

I am excited to see what will happen now that I feel at home once again!

How Do You Find Home?

  • Notice what you love that brings you joy
  • Set an intention
  • Start taking small steps towards doing what you love
  • Be willing to take risks
  • Let Go of your fears if taking a risk feels scary
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  • Deborah

    Thanks for sharing your steps to clarity and creating your authentic life.